Witch with a Capital B
by HaruhixKyon
Summary: All Human. OOC. Edward Cullen comes from a family notorious for psychics. So he's just the crazy Bella Swan's type. She is completely shameless, using blackmail to get his friendship. Too bad he secretly likes it. ExB
1. Paralyzer

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Twilight Saga, nor the song "Paralyzer". Those rights belong to Stephenie Meyer and Finger Eleven.

**WARNING: **There are going to be some hints of EdwardxRosalie in this fanfiction. But don't worry, it's all cannon pairings! You just have to trust me, alright?

- - - - -

_Well, I'm not paralyzed,_

_But I seem to be struck by you._

_I wanna make you move_

_Because you're standing still._

_If your body matches_

_What your eyes can do,_

_You'll probably move right through_

_Me on my way to you._

**-Paralyzer** by _Finger Eleven _

- - - - - -

**Edward Cullen's Point of View:**

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Okay, well, maybe just the worst of times. At least, in my opinion.

_...Eccentric._

_...Crazy bitch._

_...The girl belongs in a mental facility._

_...Calling out to aliens in the middle of class? Really?_

It was always the worst of times when there was a new student. Usually, the normal babbling of minds at a superficial school like Forks High was manageable. But the kids were quick to judge, and _everyone wanted to _when there was someone infiltrating their social hive_._ Especially in the case of this "Isabella Swan."

_...Hot. But, damn, is she weird._

_...Those bookish clothes makes you think she's going to rip off those glasses and start stripping like they do in those 80's music videos. If only she would stop babbling on about aliens..._

_...Ugh, she's a total slut!_

_...That four-eyed freak..._

These kids' parents really taught them about creativity, eh? My wry thoughts (and those of others) were disrupted rudely by someone tapping on my shoulder.

"What the-" I turned, only to spot none other than Rosalie Hale, and I was reduced to a stammering mess. "S-sorry, R-Rose!" I managed out, wondering where all my confidence had disappeared to. Ah, yes, _Miss Hale_. Also known as the most eligible bachelorette slash play girl in Forks. A friend of the family, and also one of the few who knew our secrets. Mostly because the Hales themselves had a few deceptions up their sleeves.

"Heard of the new girl, yet?"

I averted my gaze to my feet, figuring coherent speech might be easier this way. This childhood friend was the only person who could flush my usual arrogance down the drain.

"Can't stop thinking about her." I grumbled in response.

"Oh, could it be Eddie-kins has got a crush?" My sister Alice came bouncing up, all smiles and hyperness. But the urge to strangle her was great at the moment was far to great too note that. She _always_ had to bring my..._lacking_ love-life up.

"Uh, huh, and Hell froze over. I haven't even seen her with my own eyes yet." I snapped, rolling my eyes. Rose gave me a short, twinkling laugh that made any male with testosterone in them go weak at the knees. "Well, I'm off to Spanish. I'll see you two later."

I watched her go like the love-struck puppy I was. Alice laughed, but then froze to cut it off. Her eyes glazed over for an eerie effect, and I acted quickly to catch her before she tumbled to the ground.

In my family, you had to be used to this kind of thing. Look at the family tree of Esme Cullen, and all you got was one psychic after the next. Rarely was there ever a power-dead one, and most specialized in the highest of arts.

My mother in question was an expert on psychokinesis. According to the dictionary, and we all _know_ what a good source of information a bunch of balding old guys and a computer program are, she could "move or deform inanimate objects, as by mental process." As long as they weighed no more than what she could pick up with her hands. Which defeated the purpose, in my opinion. Then again, she could move them as far as she wanted them to go without any effort. So I suppose there are _some_ advantages.

Alice could see snippets and pieces of the future, depending on a person's decisions. The facts that she fainted each time this happened, and she couldn't control when this happened were the only faults in that. Carlisle and Emmett, my father and brother, were both power-dead. Carlisle, because he didn't come from a line of psychics. Emmett, because the gene pool split between us three kids did not work out in his favor. But every notable psychic family had its black sheep and every power had its limits. Except the Volturi. But everyone in the supernatural world preferred not to speak of them.

My particular power was telekinesis. Problem with that was that I heard all the mental voices in my immediate area, and I swore one of these days I was going to go insane.

Alice startled herself out of her daze a moment later, chewing on her lower lip as she rightened her self. A mysterious, smug smile was making itself apparent at a rapid pace.

"Have fun with the new girl." Were her parting words as she dashed off to her next class.

With a sigh of irritation, I made my way toward AP Biology.

- - - - -

"Well, Miss Swan, why don't you come in and and tell us something about yourself." Cue fake smile from the teacher. I stifled a chuckle when it actually happened. I was no Alice, but sometimes people were just too predicable. But even with that amusement to distract me, my mind snapped into focus when Isabella entered the room. As did the minds of all the males who hadn't seen the mysterious beauty yet.

She wore something of a white collared shirt tucked loosely into the folds of a knee-length pencil skirt that displayed a shade of unstimulating brown. With curling mocha hair up in a messy bun and deathly pale skin, she fixed the room with a chocolate, cold glare that seemed to be directed at each individual, yet everyone as a whole, in the vicinity of herself. The librarian-like frames over those lovely orbs only seemed to magnify the effects of it.

I couldn't stand that gaze. But at the same time, I couldn't do anything about it.

Then the new girl's mind grazed the fringes of mine.

Her onslaught of thoughts was designed to be an attack, anyone who heard them would be certain. I saw stars, motor vehicles, newspaper articles, random flashes of color...no image stayed for more than seven milliseconds, and the sequence looped in on itself. Ducks blended with polar bears, which mixed in with a slide show of various cheeses, which was followed by a showering of seashells on a little girl. Blood splattered walls grew tentacles. Nail polish bottles spontaneously combusted before my eyes. Or, at least, it seemed that way.

I rubbed my temples in a vain attempt to stop it all. But it kept coming. Santa Claus riding a donkey. Bright orange diaries covered with ants that were...picking off a human finger that was still holding a page for its master. Toddlers giggling at the sight of their mothers being murdered by Big Bird. A samurai gazing hopelessly at his sword, glazed with spicy mustard.

What was this crap?!

It all halted abruptly, and I was dropped back into my own word with a cry.

The teacher gave me a look of severe annoyance, and Isabella Swan's gaze fell on me. No mistaking it, because her eyes met mine and a brief flash of a rusted bullet racing toward me consumed my mind before she put a cap on it.

I was certain she was the source of that _lovely_ montage.

She seemed almost surprised when I matched her glare with one of my own, but whatever caused that made it disappear in favor of untampered excitement. Then the teacher repeated his earlier question in another attempt to make her introduce herself. Isabella nodded once, determined, and began her speech.

"Hello. You have my permission to call me 'Bella-'" Conceited, aren't we? "-and I am sure we are probably not going to get along. I have no interest in you if all you care about is when Abercrombie is releasing their newest line, and if your bracelet compliments your eyes." Wasn't that, um, _everyone?_ "I am not a friendly person. I hate human interaction. And my impression of this school is a word that begins with a B. I doubt Mr. James would appreciate my vocalizing of this, so I shall refrain from doing so. Thank you for your time."

She added one last comment. No one listened. No one heard.

But me.

_And if there are any mind readers, or anything of the supernatural sort in this room, please contact me at your earliest convenience. Yes, I mean you, carrot-top._

I reached up to make sure my hair was still that same copper-wire orange.

Well, shit.

**Author's Note: **Hiyas peoples! I wanted to sort of make a spunky, no-shit version of Bella. And since sometimes (admittedly) I mentally call out to the mind readers of the world, I got the idea for this. I'd really like your opinion (preferably in a review XD) about whether this story should get trashed or not! Please?

Oh! And don't worry about the EdxR thing. This is going to turn out all cannon pairings! I just need that for the plot!


	2. Drops of Jupiter

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Twilight saga nor the song "Drops of Jupiter"

- - - - - -

_Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey  
She acts like summer and walks like rain  
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey  
Since the return from her stay on the moon  
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey _

_Tell me, did you sail across the sun?  
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded,  
And that heaven is overrated?  
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?  
One without a permanent scar...  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?_

**-Drops of Jupiter **by _Train_

- - - - - -

**Bella Swan's Point of View**

My excitement was hardly contained at the sight of Mr. James pointing one tired, old finger at the seat next to the mysterious red-head. But I, naturally, put on a calm, collected face. Until I reached my seat that is.

Then the satisfied grin just _had_ to break out across my features.

"Hello." I exclaimed cheerfully, holding out my hand to the boy. Up close now, I could see his hair was more of a brown-ish red...bronze? Oh, well. His eyes appeared to be constructed entirely out of liquid emerald, and his body...

I might just swoon. Lankly and gawky, but with apparent muscle tone hidden underneath his highlighter yellow "I Blind You" t-shirt and fitting jeans. Not too loose, not too tight. All in all, and ensemble I approved of. And might just be drooling at.

"Hi there to you, too." He grumbled under his breath, irritated. Then, suddenly, a smug smirk gracing those wonderful lips.

Mr. James chose that moment to intervene. "You introduced yourself several moments ago, Isabella. Unless Mr. Cullen is as dense as his brother before him, I think he heard. Now, might you consider paying attention?"

All smiles from me and this 'Cullen' kid. "Yes, sir." We said in unison (I swear, it wasn't planned!). Then he watched the teacher, while I dropped my hand and watched him.

Ah! I got it!

Quietly ripping a piece of paper out of my spiral, I scribbled out a note to him.

_**So does the mind reading thing just come naturally to you? I mean, I've always wond-**_

The unfinished word? Yeah, that was him snatching my pen away from me before I even finished. Arrogant looks gone now, he just appeared...pissed.

Yes, that was a good word to describe it.

"Stop that." He hissed.

"Have lunch with me. Answer all my questions. And Mr. James won't find out about all these suggestive notes you've been writing to me..." I snapped back, my voice soft but still demanding.

At his questioning look, I ripped out another sheet of paper and grabbed my pen back.

_**And after that, I'll swirl my toun-**_

Cut off again for the same reasons. I smirked, noticing that what I had gotten from his perfectly printed notes was very helpful in forging his handwriting.

"You're a bitch." He bit back, lowering his voice even more.

"And proud of it. So meet me after class?"

He sighed in response. But hey, that wasn't a no!

- - - - - -

Cullen tried to escape.

Not surprising. Yet, I was still hurt.

That didn't stop me from leaping over the desk as he made a break for the door and grabbing him by the back of his collar. "MISS SWAN!!!" The teacher exclaimed, annoyed. I just shot him a smile, and started dragging a complaining mind reader behind me.

"You can't do this! It's kidnapping! It's wrong! Blackmail! Is no one going to stop this?! You are all seriously going to watch her drag me-" The door to the room slammed shut behind us moments later. Leaving an awe-struck class, I'm sure.

I ended up forcefully dragging him all the way to the to the cafeteria, at some point switching from yanking on his collar to yanking on his ear. A small, pixie-like girl with dark eyes and short hair in a messy, minuscule ponytail stopped us. "So Edward won't be joining us today?" She inquired, all smiles.

Ah, so that was Cullen's name.

"Save me!" The boy in question mouthed. I turned halfway and slapped him across the cheek. Then, while he was recovering from the shock, I replied to the midget. "Not for the rest of the year. Maybe I can allow it once or twice, but he's mine now." A smug look from me before I pulled "Edward" through the door and to one of the corner tables.

He stumbled forward into a chair as soon as I let go of his ear.

"Question number one: Is it an automatic thing? I mean, can you just choose a mind to read or-" I stood above him only because he was sitting and I was standing, arms across my chest in a dominating fashion. He still interrupted me.

I hoped this wasn't a habit of his.

"Dear Lord, could you keep your voice down?" He glanced around suspiciously for a moment, and I noted a group of kids – including the midget from earlier – looking his direction and laughing uncontrollably.

"Why should I tell you anything?" Edward snapped, throwing a glare in both the group's direction and my own.

"I thought you would ask that. Thing is, I already went over that lesson at my old school..." I yanked out several sheets of paper out of my backpack and set them in front of him. His eyes widened in horror, only causing me to smirk. Having been copying my mother's handwriting for years on lunch checks (she always managed to forget), forgery was something I had mastered.

"Even had time to make a few copies. You know being too attentive in class can be bad for your health, especially if you don't even notice your neighbor writing sex comments to blackmail you. I wonder how sexual harassment will look on your permanent record..."

He didn't even interrupt my speech once. Shock.

Finally, after a long, drawn-out silence (through which I was tapping my foot impatiently the entire time), Edward managed words.

"I can 'hear' everyone's minds within a certain radius. If I want to hear a particular person's thoughts, their's just become louder naturally." He grumbled, looking over his shoulder. Was that...a hint of red on his cheeks?!

I followed his gaze to a tall, busty blonde with an arrogant look in her aqua eyes and skin straight out of the 'after' picture in an acne cream commercial. She was giggling, casting "Yeah, I'm making fun of you" looks in Edward's direction. A flash of anger penetrated my conscious thoughts, but I pushed that to the back of my mind so I could lean over and breath my next words into his ears.

"Oh? So the mind reader has a girlfriend? I don't think she's really that worthy of you...look at the way she's laughing at your pain..." I chuckled darkly when I noticed him shivering uncomfortably.

"She's perfect." He retorted.

"If there's one thing I know for sure, Edward Cullen, it's that no one's perfect. Especially girls. That's what I'd like to call a 'Class A, I'm-pretty-and-I-know-it, Bitch.'" I remarked, rightening myself.

"She's not like that. Rose-" Ah, a name... "-is wonderful. Pretty, smart, nice, charitable..."

"Whoa, don't faint there, buddy."

He sighed, probably realizing that it was useless to argue with my logic. "Can I ask a question? Then maybe we can have an exchange. You ask something, then I do."

I clapped my hands together, a grin breaking out across my features. "It's perfect! Like a game!" My eyes softened. "You know, I might just let you stick around."

"Oh, joy."

"Just ask your question before I change my mind and figure out how to commit murder with a butter knife." I reached over and snatched on off of a boy's tray who was sitting one table down.

"Hey!" I turned slowly to note the guy in the football jersey behind me. Ah, butter knife dude.

"Do you have a problem, Good Sir?" I asked, my voice coated with a British accent.

"In fact, I kinda do. No one takes stuff from Mike Newton. And I'm not afraid to hit a girl."

"Good for you. Now you can kiss my-" Edward had already leaped up, grabbed my wrist, and began to drag me out of the room at a quick pace.

"Bella, you idiot!" He exclaimed loudly as we made a break for it.

Mike Newton was shell-shocked for a moment before breaking into a sprint after us.

Me and my big mouth decided to yell out "SUCK IT, NEWTON!"

**Author's Note: **The original song for this chapter was "People Are Strange," but then I decided to change it to "Right Now." I really wanted to save that for later, though. So when I was listening to the radio this morning in the car, I heard "Drops of Jupiter" and fell in love with it.

Anyways, we finally get a bit of Bella's point of view, eh? I think I'm going to switch their POV's every other chapter...

The name and summary got changed! Anyone know if you are supposed to capitalize 'with' in a name?

Review, please!


	3. Sharada

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Twilight Saga, nor "Sharada."

- - - - - -

Once upon a time there was a girl  
You wouldn't really call her typical  
Had her own definition of cool  
She lived in her own world  
She had her own style her own rules  
She played along like it was usual  
Nobody really even knew her name  
To her life was one big game

She's got her head up in the clouds  
Sharada, Sharada  
Don't know when she'll come down  
Sharada, Sharada  
She can't get to bed  
Sharada, Sharada  
She's got this song stuck in her head

**-Sharada **by _Skye Sweetnam_

- - - - - -

**Edward Cullen's Point of View**

This girl was insane.

I had guessed as much the moment I laid eyes on Bella Swan, but now I had proof. I mean, what small, delicate girl like her _willingly_ provokes a two hundred pound football player? I wouldn't dare do such a thing, and I wasn't exactly some 'run away for help'-type nerd. Then again, it must have seemed that way to her when I pulled her out of the cafeteria, Newton trailing behind us.

She did not like that _one bit._

My arm was nearly yanked out of my socket as she dug her heels into the ground, There was only so much time one could literally drag a human being behind them before forced to stop.

I spun on her, instantaneously angry. Her matching furious facial features stunned me for a moment. The depths of her eyes, so bottomless, looked ready to kill. Not in the bad way, though. In the sexy, female assassin type of way. An object every teenage boy fantasized of at least once in their lifetimes. A mad blush ran up her neck and settled itself on her upper cheekbones, while her bottom lip quivered and her hands clenched into firsts at her side like she didn't know how she was going to punish me. Yet determined to think of _some way or another._

"Aren't you a man?! Face him!"

Excuse me, I would not like to die today. But complying was mandatory, especially since she was giving me the aforementioned sexy look.

A grunt escaped from me. My reply. She appeared more or less accepting of that, until I pushed her behind me to face the now-caught-up Mike Newton.

The whole "protecting" thing didn't roll over well with Bella. I heard her somewhere in the back of my mind, complaining about it loudly. But I didn't let that faze me as I held up my fists.

"I was kinda hoping to fight the girl..." Mike started, glaring over my shoulder.

"Doesn't look like that's going to happen while I'm around."

"-If you honestly think I'm going to just stand here like some blonde cheerleader in a cliché horror movie, Edward Cullen, then you're going to-" Bella was _not pleased._

Mike and I started ignoring her now, staring each other down.

He made the first move, clumsily lunging at me. Like he expected his sheer size to help him out here. I avoided him very nearly, trying not to get killed while still protecting Bella. Braced for another attack, I followed through with a punch to the nose. But all I got for my efforts was stumbling forward, off-balance. All my first had hit was air, and for that my head collided with the sidewalk as I tumbled to the ground.

Bella had taken things into her own hands several seconds before, out of anger, I suppose. _Maybe_ she just couldn't stand someone's attention being on anything but her. _Maybe_ she just wanted to protect me. _Maybe_ prove that she didn't need protecting. I liked to think it the second as I noticed Bella kicking Newton in the back of the neck, her foot colliding directly with a pressure point and sending him down.

Crossing her arms over her chest and standing above me, I noted that at this position Bella was unconsciously flaunting her underwear. I tried to focus on that fact while I clutched my forehead. Thick red liquid seeped through my fingers, but just the sight of those white, _innocent,_ cotton things made me not caring about the possible injury on my forehead.

Pavement _hurt_. But at least I had a distraction.

"What did you think you were doing, you idiot?" Bella questioned, her voice rising in volume. "And what are you staring-" Suddenly looking down at our relative positions and where my attention way directed, her face went from porcelain white to beet red in .5 seconds. "ASSHOLE!" She screamed loudly as she staggered back. The back of her knees eventually collided with one of the school's benches and she plopped down, shocked. Neither of us were really paying attention to Mike, our faces resembling tomatoes. Mine could only be _partially_ attributed to the large gash in my forehead.

"S-sorry." I stammered, getting up slowly and moving to sit down next to her. Okay, well, as far away from her as I was able, considering we were sharing a very small bench.

Bella didn't answer, looking genuinely shocked. A side of her I hadn't seen in the two hours - give or take – of knowing her. She wasn't exactly one to hide her emotions, either.

Slowly, I picked out her mental voice. Trying not to alert her of my presence in a mind other than my own.

_-it's not like I necessarily _mind._ He's just so...I dunno, hot? Sex on legs? More than I could ever imagine a supernatural being. But...there was no way of expecting him to check out my undergarments...kinda wanted him to...and just thinking about that makes me think of-_

Her thoughts were trailing off into places that no one would think _innocent_ Bella Swan would know the directions to.I chose about that time to remind her that she should be careful of her mind. How should I go about this?

"Am I really 'sex on legs,' as you so graciously put it?" Way to be subtle.

Whatever shade of red her face had been before, it was no comparison to the coloring of her cheeks now.

"Don't do that!" Bella exclaimed, breaking out of her trance in an instant to be horrified.

"Can't help it." I could tell she was about to murder me, if the furious look replacing the former one was any indication.

"So do I get my question now?" Changing the subject was an art I had mastered, having lived with Alice as long as I did.

"Sure..." Her mood calmed slightly, then brightened as her eyes wandered down to Mike's unconscious body. "Wait...are you okay?" Nice to know she didn't think of my injury until what must have been at least five minutes after it had been inflicted upon me. Her fault.

"Yeah, head wounds always bleed a lot, because of – wait, what are you doing?!" Bella had taken a hold of my sleeve and ripped in cleanly off, (without any warning or permission, of course) proceeding to rip one side.

No answer from her. I didn't understand until she wrapped it around my head. "Can't have you in any state unable to answer or ask anything." There was a nagging feeling that she was making excuses, but I did not voice that.

"We wouldn't want that." My voice was slightly amused, because looking sideways at Bella made me realize once more just how pretty she was for a crazy bitch.

"Good," she didn't meet my gaze, "Ask away! We don't have all day! Lunch is going to end soon..."

"How do you know about all this mind reading, psychic stuff?" I waved my hand in the air generically, though my eyes were still studying her carefully. It was as if she was a priceless Rembrandt in my eyes.

"I don't. I just always figured there had to be _somebody_ out there doing something interesting. This is the first time I've ever actually found someone who was. My turn!" She smiled, looking up at the sky with excitement apparent in her eyes. "Do you know anyone else who does the who psychic thing?!" I started to explain about the Cullens and Hales, all the while wondering one thing:

Why the fuck was I telling her all this? I could easily convince the teacher, by ways of Jasper Hale, (who had a few secrets of his own) that he hadn't written the notes. So why play into her sick, twisted game?

Sad thing is, I had no clue just how far Bella was willing to take the 'game' at that point in time.

**Author's Note: **I'm WAY too lazy right now to actually put any effort into checking this. Because I'm writing from Key West. Drag Queens left and right when you go downtown at night. (Hey, that rhymed!) But there's also roosters and six-toed cats roaming around. Keeps you awake, I'll say. Plus, the kitties are so cute!

You can thank my family talking about my baby years, and me trying to tune them out, for this chapter.


	4. Stairway to Heaven

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Twilight Saga, nor "Stairway to Heaven"

- - - - - -

Theres a lady who's sure  
All that glitters is gold  
And shes buying a stairway to heaven.  
When she gets there she knows  
If the stores are all closed  
With a word she can get what she came for.  
Ooh, ooh, and shes buying a stairway to heaven.

Theres a sign on the wall  
But she wants to be sure  
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.  
In a tree by the brook  
Theres a songbird who sings,  
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving.

**-Stairway to Heaven** by _Led Zeppelin_

- - - - - -

**Bella Swan's Point of View**

"Faster, my man whore!" I called angrily, arms crossed over chest and foot tapping impatiently.

Edward was huffing while trying to drag my backpack, his, and our biology project to my front porch. Dammit, why was he so slow?!

"You know...your neighbors...might get...the wrong idea..." He said between gasps. Well, we had walked home, but...

"C'mon, you can do better than that!"

"Suck it, Swan!"

"...So, Mr. James, this is one of the many notes that Edward Cullen has been-"

"Shut up."

This had become a regular argument in the week or so we'd known each other. I slowly found myself spending all my free time with him. Because he was fun. Yeah. That's right.

"Just keep telling yourself that!" Edward finally reached me as I had already begun unlocking the front door. "We all know you think I'm sexy as hell."

"Sexy as hell? A dirty diaper, maybe..."

"Ah, shut up."

"You seriously need to think of better comebacks." I commented after a moment, swinging the screen door open and striding in. I let gravity slam that very same door in Cullen's face. But he still loyally joined me minutes later in my bedroom.

"Where's your dad, anyways?" He questioned, looking around for a place to sit. I was already sprawled out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Work? Lots of adults do that. Forks unemployment rate _is _only two percent. So...about six people in this town don't work."

"Not too good at math, are you?" Edward asked in a smug, amused tone. That tone irritated me to no end.

"I'm excellent at it, actually. So go jump off a cliff." I shot back, annoyed. If only I could shoot bullets instead of words...

"Don't make me clip your wings, Swan."

"Try me, Cullen."

There was a long silence as I turned to look at him and we just watched each other for awhile. It was weird...not bad weird, good weird. "Aliens coming to Earth and sharing their otherworldly knowledge with us" weird.

Edward finally broke the silence, that bastard. "We should get to work. Now what's this I hear about orchids?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing he did that on purpose to break the 'moment.' His flushed cheeks were a dead giveaway. "Whatever, Edward, you're the second best in the class, figure it out."

"I was _first_, but then someone had to come up with an evolution debate that would leave Richard Dawkins in awe." Dammit, now he was going to try and distract me with flattery?! Well, fine. I'll take the bait.

"And don't you forget it. Now, you were right for once, let's get to work."

- - - - -

Hours later, while we were organizing when we both had time to go to the store (Erm...well, Edward and I were both more than willing to clear our schedules...), Charlie burst into the room, all smiles.

"Hey, Bella! What do you want for dinner? I was thinking maybe we could order some-"

His cut off voice? That was when dear old dad spotted Edward Cullen sprawled out next to me on the floor.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! I THOUGHT THERE WAS ONE RULE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! NO BOYFRIENDS! WHATSOEVER! THAT ESPECIALLY INCLUDES THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL! HOW COULD YOU INVITE THAT DAMN BITCHES SON..." This is where I stop listening, for Charlie's eyes were darting around (most likely looking for a gun) now. _Goodness, I hope he's not mad._ Edward nicely covered up his snort at my thoughts.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!" Charlie yelled out, his voice cracking with hoarseness. Hrm, how to answer that?

"Not at all." Honesty is the best policy, as they say. So Charlie ranted on for a few minutes, meanwhile Edward and I exchanged looks. Some of fear. Some of ignorance. Some of irritation. But mostly, just boredness. If that's a word. And I'm pretty sure it's not.

Finally, Charlie stopped to take a breath, and I decided to intervene. "Dad, we're not going out or anything. I'd just as soon _die_. But he's my friend, and we're working on a school project together." Soothing voice? Check.

"...Oh."

There was silence for a long while. "_Awkward..._" I sang under my breath.

"Well, um, you two kids have fun, and, um..." Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh yeah! You'd better keep this damn door open!"

"It _was_ open, Dad."

Not having a response to that, Charlie made his escape immaturely. I think he only let Edward stay here not because of the school project or the friend thing. He probably was assured by the "I'd just as soon die" thing.

"Soooooooo...." I dragged out the word, looking back over to Edward. "What problem does he have with your mom?"

Edward shrugged and turned his attention back to the paper. But I could tell his next words concealed a fierce anger. "He's most likely pissed because she sometimes helps solve cases with the police. Esme enlists our help too. I mean, the kids of the family. Me, Alice. Jasper helps a bunch too." He was rambling, trying to calm down. I sat up fully, resting one hand on his shoulder. "Sorry about that. He'll come around." I murmered softly, a nicer side of me coming out.

Edward blushed and shrugged my shoulder off. "Whatever. To work we go."

I sighed inwardly, clicking my emotional settings back to 'bitch'.

- - - - - -

"God, Edward! Could you be any slower?!" I growled impatiently as he was gathering all of his bullshit.

"Yeah, sure, I'll be done in just a-" His reply was cut off by Charlie, who appeared as if out of thin air. Usually he wasn't the picture of stealthy, so this surprised me.

"Cullen. Front porch. I'd like to discuss a matter with you in private." And with that he left us quite bewildered and watching his retreating back.

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long gap between updates. I had writers block, and just thirty minutes ago got over it and came up with this WONDERFUL ending to a WONDERFUL chapter. All will be revealed next time. Be prepared.


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